Doug Wilson gives a good description of the self-energizing return of the husbands love for his wife:
I have yet to see a husband who takes godly responsibility for his wife and then whose wife takes ungodly advantage of it. I am sure it has happened sometime, but I haven’t seen it yet. Wives are built by God to be responsive. This is because, as Paul says, “he that loveth his wife loveth himself” (Eph. 5:28). As a general rule, a husband who loves his wife is not loving someone eager to take advantage of him: women are built to respond in love. It is amazing to me how much some wives can love with how little encouragement they get. But when a husband really loves his wife, he will discover that as he gives these blessings to his wife, he will discover that his wife consistently gives a bigger return. He shovels blessings on her, and then discovers that she has a much bigger shovel. He who loves his wife loves himself. She is always able to return more in blessing to him than he has given to her. Godly wives are multipliers.